Stateland Cafe • Pattiserie | Bali Lane, Bugis

Whuttt!! Cafes in Kampung Glam? How original.

Seriously though, it did take quite a few years for the more popular side of Kampung Glam (a.k.a. Haji Lane/ Bali Lane) to get an actual cafe, huh? You’d think as capital city of Singaporean hipsters from one to ninety-two, that cafes would’ve been ubiquitous amongst the hip parade, but apparently not. Finally, some justice, and no, Maison Ikokku doesn’t count. I did mention “the popular side of Kampung Glam”, right? Yah, thought so.

From 3 out of 3 people behind master macaron pattisierie Flag & Sac comes a completely brand new concept which will undoubtedly destroy all the support and goodwill that they’ve likely built up in all the months they’ve been in business: a not macaron business – Stateland Cafe & Pattiserie. Undoubtedly part of the Tumblr and Twilight generation, it’s very obvious once you step in that appearance is everything. From the photogenic creations from the kitchen to the Tokyoite indie cafe-esque interiors of wooden grains juxtaposed against ultra-functional Nordic trinkets nicked off Ikea, someone is obviously a perfectionist here… The result, is priceless. Customers aren’t walking into yet another accidentally industrial chic interior cafe cos’ the owners spent all their money on Melbourne and that damn expensive coffee machine which despite their best efforts, still can’t replicate Melbourne jo’ like they hoped it would. Stateland Cafe isn’t one of those. It’s cosy and it’s heartwarming.

Like every other cafe in Singapore that serves hot meals, the savories are a wonderland of eggs, pastas and toastis. And because you apparently can’t be considered a good cafe in Singapore if you don’t buy a waffle-maker, waffles dominate the sweets, along with cakes which may or may not be present, depending when you visit.

While I personally felt that there were flashes of brilliance behind the cake-themed waffles concept, and found the effort to produce the various compotes and sauces in-house admirable, it ultimately missed the mark on flavor. Somehow, like a Dementor or the Grinch who stole Christmas, Stateland has managed to drain all the excitement and adventure of chocolate ice-cream, berry compote, whipped cream and a cocoa-tinted waffle to create a diabetic’s fine-dining homage to the Bavarian treat. It’s not that it wasn’t sweet at all – it was only slightly sweet by the way – but there was a one-note muted sensibility that was so inappropriate, I got bored of eating it halfway through. It was a pity, as the waffle had ticked all the right ideas in terms of invention, reimagination and texture.

Alas, there was no taste.


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